Research shows there are three preconditions for positive change. First, something must motivate an individual to want to change. Second, a different relationship that provides psychological safety, empathy, and attunement must exist (like with a divorce coach). Third, there must be optimal anxiety—just the right amount of discomfort in the present to want to move forward without being paralyzed in place. When supporting someone you know going through divorce, these factors are important to keep in mind. The Collaborative Process uses lawyers with special training, as well as other professionals like coaches and family specialists, who recognize the importance of seeing divorce as a developmental change and who can help people stay motivated to make change happen and to do it positively, looking to the future well-being of themselves and their children.