Depending on the circumstances, a strongly aggressive approach in family matters can bring results—though you will not control the nature of those results—and there is a huge cost to families. Sometimes a perceived need to win or to see justice be done can overcome the ability to appreciate the long term effects of a court battle and the devastating impact on the other people closely involved in your divorce—your children. Consult with a divorce coach to help you identify what is truly important to you and for your family. Learn about the available process options, like the collaborative process and mediation. Choose a process and consult with lawyers using that approach to find the best fit. Move through the process with dignity and with respect for your family—you and your ex-spouse are parents for the long haul.